ESL or You Weren't Here by Aldrin Valdez

Author:Aldrin Valdez
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nightboat Books
Published: 2020-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

The white

urologist

does not contain

his laughter

as he holds

my genitals

during a checkup.

I am not a man. I am

quiet as he advises me

to press the fat above my groin

so that the _______

can appear

longer, more permanent

in its protrusion.

I am eleven.

He advises.

I see

years

ahead of me,

the work of pressing down,

of growing bigger, of full blunt force,

getting harder. Of diminishing softness. Little i

as in i would rather my hands than his

but in this moment I do not hold

myself. Measured,

I am lacking.

The carpet in his

office is a gray thick tweed

probably synthetic

though as prickly

as real

wool.

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